Sex Freaks For A Sane Society

We live in a world that has become bipolar; a wild roller coaster ride, soaring to more beautifully progressive heights one day, only to plunge back into the fetid mire of conservatism the next. Most of the time I can’t decide if I love the world I live in, or if I hate it. I suppose most people would tell you the same thing, though probably not for the same reasons. It's often hard to get ones bearings amidst the ever more frequent collisions of diametrically opposed belief systems today, where the abyss that separates liberal and conservative ideology is deep and wide, and shows no signs of being bridged any time in the near future. There is always that nagging feeling that something has gone greatly amiss, that the rich promise of cultural advance spawned in the 1960's has taken the form of some strange Flying Dutchman, a ghost ship on the stormy seas of sociological warfare, anxiously in search of a new shore upon which to land and re-colonize. The politics of fear and intolerance keep the people frightened, and frightened people are not only unhappy people, they’re also dangerous. The continuing presence of this paranoid manifestation of social power causes progressives a kind of ambivalence with regard to the world they live in that is itself somewhat schizoid. We find ourselves split down the middle, unsure whether hope for progress is still rational, or if it’s merely the refuge of fools.

I’ll definitely have to admit to having a great love for the texture of modern culture. Sleek, bright, hi-tech, computer-generated, a self-constructed paradise of potentiality in which the human animal may play to its heart’s content. Sort of. It also generates overload at a rate that would likely boggle the minds of even the Aldous Huxleys and the George Orwells who peered so accurately into our time from their distant vantage points back in the day; the day when computers were something known only to secret government mad scientists and a developing generation of comic book kids, most of whom grew up to become computer geniuses in their own rights. But despite the overcrowding, the sitting in traffic, the frustration of never speaking with real humans on the phone any more, and the accumulated stress that must certainly be gnawing away at my very sanity, I find myself profoundly grateful to be living at this moment in history. It does indeed seem in many respects to be the realization of those futuristic worlds from the childhood comics actually come to life. I did always think, though, that the cars of today would look a lot more like spacecraft than they do, and the fact that the styles have scarcely changed over the last 2 decades is definitely a disappointment. Still, I have to believe that the day is coming. Think ‘Jetsons.’ That’s what I’m really hoping for.

So what does this erratic and polarized society of ours have to say about the BBW Lifestyle? About the BDSM Lifestyle? About Sexuality in general? Can we consider this a time of potential progress with regard to acceptance of preferences, or is the message of fear behind the conservative propaganda pushing us in the opposite direction? Quite often it seems very hard to tell who’s winning. So what does this erratic and polarized society of ours have to say about the BBW Lifestyle? About the BDSM Lifestyle? About Sexuality in general? Can we consider this a time of potential progress with regard to acceptance of preferences, or is the message of fear behind the conservative propaganda pushing us in the opposite direction? Quite often it seems very hard to tell who’s winning. But whether the governing body leans left or leans right, the fact remains that the conservative base will always be championing new doctrines of exclusion and ultimate fear, and to the extent that they succeed in implementing these, individual freedoms will always suffer the consequences, even—and perhaps especially—in the realm of sexuality. The conservative agenda of policing morality also has a serious side-effect in that such social imperatives serve to further sow the seeds of hate. The message that there is only one form of acceptable sexuality, and that this form itself is never to be mentioned openly, will always find its constituency among any group of paranoiacs. They are all too ready to become fueled by the right-wing rhetoric and adopt a stance of deeper intolerance in a desperate effort to achieve a feeling of safety through homogenization. As a result, those whose sexual preferences fall outside these artificial boundaries will continue to be targeted as serious threats to cultural 'normalcy,' and will be made to suffer injustices as a consequence.

If this narrow-mindedness were confined only to the most radical of fundamentalist extremists, it would not be such a cause for concern. The problem is that the message of intolerance also has its effects on the more centrist population who might be ready to accept at least a small step forward in their openness to other belief systems if they weren't continually inculcated with the notion that 'normal' people simply don't accept aberrations. Without a doubt, the proponents of a progressive and sane society must work much harder than they have in the past to get the message of tolerance out. The message of fear reaches into our lives on a constant basis, but the rejoinder of tolerance and open-ness is all too seldom heard. One of the most disturbing things about the message of fear is the effect it has on young mothers. Far too many of them are victimized by the politics of fear. They become so fearful over their children being exposed to anything unwholesome that they literally lose all rationality and become aligned with hard-core conservatism, terrified—of all things—that a world of progress, inclusiveness, and openness is a danger to their kids. They need to be reeducated in order to understand that the world becomes a better place when we’re open to it, not when we harbor suspicion, prejudice, and hate against any group that WE think may be of harm to our children.

The same kind of normative prejudice is explicit in the media’s endorsement of sexual stereotypes. The media’s entire function is that of defining the ‘normal.’ Everything with which you identify signals your normality, your level of conformity. Everything to which you feel opposed signals your ‘outsider’ status; a status you could well take on completely if you don’t change your way of thinking. There is an implied threat there that you may be ‘slipping.’ It’s critical in this regard to keep sharpening your own awareness. We can’t afford to be made into puppets by the pronouncements heard over our big-screens. Those pronouncements are carefully created to keep you in fear of becoming a reject, and of course, nobody wants to be a reject. Nevertheless, it is necessary to risk it if you’re going to be true to self. Social rejection is a tough thing to deal with. It makes you feel small. It often makes you feel less than human in some ways. But we who understand that the myth of the sexual norm is an illusion, a DElusion, if you will, can discover the path to freedom. It definitely takes strength. Most of all it takes commitment; commitment to ourselves and to the task of widening the world’s all-too-often narrow view of things. The structures upon which the message of social conformity is built are solid institutions; Tradition, Religion, false notions of Teleology, and especially the collective mental state that clings steadfast to falsehood while sincerely believing it to be truth. These structures aren’t toppled easily. But those who persist in remaining true to their deepest sexual identities become increasingly capable of understanding them and in so doing learning how to diffuse their influence.

The key to growth with regard to our ‘alternative’ identities is to continue coming together. If we keep on connecting we can build a powerful unity out of our diversity. We can become reborn as a collective, a FreakNation, committed to personal freedoms and the guarding of our rights to express them. It’s so important that we begin to set the example for sanity. Humankind is running so far below its potential, and it’s all because the dead weight of fear and the rejection of open-ness continue to weigh us down like some gargantuan sociological anvil. It is indeed time to make it known that it’s the Freaks—Big Girls, Gays, Sadists, Masochists, everyone on the so called 'fringes' of straight society—that are going to bring the human race into a glorious new phase of evolution. It will be like a reverse Rapture in which only the fear-mongers get left behind! All we have to do is keep connecting with each other and keep being who we are.

And so, the state of Sex as we near the end of 2008 can be reported at best as moderately healthy. There’s still a lot of hate out there. Sexual hate. Hatred of gays, hatred of submissives, hatred of mixed couples, and of course, the hatred against which I’m engaged most directly, hatred of fat girls. Proponents of the BBW Lifestyle still have a lot of work to do. Beautiful big girls need more mainstream promotion, more high-profile media buzz, and more willingness to stand up and be admired. There may indeed be a lot of hate out there. But there’s a lot of love, too. And you don’t get to receive it until you put yourselves out there, squarely in its path. Cheers!